New Beginnings

A fresh start does not always feel like a fresh start.

Sometimes it feels like ripping off a band-aid. Or more like hundreds of band-aids all over you. It hurts. It can leave a yucky residue. And you end up wondering if all these band-aids were really worth it.

This happens to a LOT of people. Most are probably fresh out of college. Or switching career paths. Or got laid off from a job without anything lined up. Stuck in the endless job search. Rarely hearing back about applications. Maybe scoring a few interviews that don’t lead anywhere.

I’m right there with you.

Trying to stay positive is draining. Trying to avoid the sinking feeling of failure. Seeing the money in the bank slowly drain away with each month’s load of bills. The anxiety builds. The lack of direction drives me crazy.

The problem is there are plenty of things I would love to do. But none of them are secure methods of income. And it’s not that I don’t want to work. I do. Especially the right job, the right environment, the right team. I will work my butt off to support the success of whatever job I am in. But first, I need that job.

There’s this unfortunate requirement in today’s society that money is equal to success. Money is equal to life. And oftentimes, you need a decent amount of money to live a non-shitty life. There’s rent, utilities, internet, phone bills, all the insurance (for the car, for your health, for renters, etc.). And then there’s food. You have to eat, but eating healthier meals means the cost of groceries goes up. Am I missing anything? Probably. But you get the point. Money is required for life.

This is the start of my new beginning. Well, the depressing side of it that does drag me down. But there are good things too. I have more freedom with my time, so I can actually work on things that matter to me in between job hunting.

I want to get my voice out there, so I’m restarting my blog with this post. And I hope to post more consistently. I’ve earned my master’s degree in school counseling (woot woot!) - didn’t get a job after graduating due to hold ups in the school district (a frustrating situation, especially since I had a place for me at a school - but that’s another rant). The point being, I have a lot of knowledge and resources related to school counseling, so I’m getting on YouTube to share my lessons (so be on the look out for that!). And maybe I can make a meager income by selling templates and presentations online. We’ll see if that does anything. And I’ve been crocheting and working on embroidery more often. Maybe I’ll open an Etsy shop and sell pre-made items. Who knows?

The point being - while all of these things take up time, they don’t make money. Not consistently enough to live off of anyway.

But this doesn’t mean I won’t try. And that goes for you too if you’re in a similar spot.

Life is fairly short. We only have so much time when we are active, capable, and willing to focus on our passions. So why not figure out what your passion is? Why not figure out how to incorporate your passion into your daily life?

A basic job that is solely for earning money won’t bring you lifelong satisfaction. Make time for you. Make time for your family. For your friends. Work hard for a time if you need to, but take a break when you reach your goal.

Take unfortunate situations and turn them around. Where’s the opportunity in the situation? What good can come from this? And most importantly, focus on what you can control.

I can’t control who sees my resume, who calls me in for an interview. I can do my best to present myself as a strong candidate. But ultimately, the decision on who to hire is not mine. It’s not yours. The success of a YouTube channel or an online store is not wholly up to me or you. There are efforts we can take to improve our chances, but at the end of the day, there’s only so much we can control.

Take each day, one step at the time.

Take the time to feel your emotions - the frustration, the anger, the disappointment, the sadness. But don’t wallow. Acknowledge your emotions, and release them. Have a good cry. Punch a pillow. Go for a run - whatever helps you get back up.

And then get the f*** back up. Because you are worth it.

The value you bring to the world - whether it's on a larger scale or smaller scale - is worth it. Don’t lose sight of your inner light. If you need help finding it, talk to those you love, those you trust.

Find your purpose, find your passion. And chase it.